Good morning teachers and students... Whoa, don't run! Get back here... It’s not Fidel Castro beaming state-mandated proganda into your schools... It’s me Obama! Sit back down everyone.
Kids, I’ll get right to the point... It's not your fault that our country is an economic disaster... But you’re going to pay for it. And given the size of this problem... we’re going to need to start now by making a few changes in the cirriculum. We don’t want you defaulting on our debt now do we?
Here we go... ART OUT... That was easy! Accounting IN - You’ve gotta be able to print and count the money before you can pay it back, right?
Music OUT, Business IN - You’ll need beg, borrow, steal, wheel and deal to pay even SOME of it back.
Kids, your President is also saying its OK if you don’t get any Christmas presents this year. Your parents are probably out work, the stores are closing, and we finally got the Swiss to give up Santa’s secret bank account. Let’s just say Santa will be taking a hit this X-mas too.
Now that we’ve gone over those minor announcements, lets get to the real point of this speech. Children, watch me... I’m blowing sunshine. Oh yeah, I’m blowing sunshine. I could never pull off this speech if I wasn't going to blow sunshine. I’ll tell you where I’m blowing it when you are old enough to be drafted. Anyway... Motherhood, baseball, apple pie, and stay in school.
Now for the part everyone is waiting for... I’m often asked... When is the stimulus going to reach the children? That answer is NOW. Engorge yourself on candy children! And remember to tell your parents how much you love Obama, especially around election time!
Signing out... The Prez